Yup, I finally did it. It was one of the things I feared I couldn’t do. It was one of those things that I thought I wasn’t yet ready for. It was one of those things I said I’d get to do “one day”.

Last weekend I finally climbed the Grouse Grind in Vancouver.  The trail is short, only 2.9 km (1.8 miles), but climbs 853 m (2800 feet). That makes an average grade of 29.4%. Along the way there are 2830 stairs, as well as stretches of rock and root to clamber over.

For years I was convinced that it was too difficult, I was too “out of shape” to make it to the top. Oh sure, I’ve release a pile of weight and am the healthiest I’ve ever been but I didn’t feel my fitness level was where it should be. I had let others create this big “story” that I believed. This story had become so big that I feared the mountain. I had been a few times but never climbed it and always opted to take the Skyride lift up.

I will admit that I do have a small fear of heights, but not from a plane or even from the top of a mountain. The fear creeps up from being on an overhanging structure high off the ground; steep lifts or freakin’ suspension bridges do it every time. I can make it across with a little apprehension and trepidation. There…I’m human after all. Not so much a “wuss”, I just have a healthy fear of falling to my death.  I guess that stems from trust issues or something.

So it was my daughter, while visiting me, who talked me into taking the leap. I remember being at the top of the mountain, seeing older people having just completed the climb thinking “if they can do it… how bad can it be?”

Well there I was at the bottom of the trail just about to take my first step up when I hesitated. Can I really do this? Once you start you have to finish. There is no climbing back down; they don’t allow it. Thoughts of being stuck in the middle, exhausted, paralyzed with fear and not able to continue rushed through my head. Wow, what a story I’d built up for myself. And I believed it! No…this time I would not let it take me over. I was stepping forward.

How about if I simply enjoyed the natural beauty of the mountain, the forest and the views? How about if I tell myself what I tell all of my clients? You can do this. The story in your head is written by you. Write the story as you want it to be, with the outcome you want to see. There I was, silently coaching myself.

Refocus. Step forward. Breathe. I was on my way, up, up, up this steep, winding climb over roots, rocks and stairs. The trail really is beautiful, nestled deep into the forest. The fresh air; the smell of the pines. Then the burn in my legs, the shortness of breath and chest pounding, not sure if I can continue; take a break and regroup. Start again. This was the pattern all the way to the top. Celebrating at every marker like I’d just accomplished something big, and letting my mind and body know we were winning with every step. Yes this was a victory for all of me; mind, body and spirit. Every step took me closer to the finish line.

This went on to the top. Just a little over 2 hours. (2:02:00 to be exact) Definitely not a record but an “ok” time for the first time up. At the top I just lay there on a rock recollecting myself and calming myself. “I think this was one of, if not the most demanding things I’ve ever done. I tried to remember the last time I put my body, my mind, myself, through anything as intense; nothing comes to mind. I was exhausted but satisfied with finally beating this mountain and this fear.

Lesson: Feel the fear and step forward anyway. – Being stuck in fear is holding you back in other ways besides the immediate situation. – Stories that you’ve convinced yourself are true are in your head and written by you. Write the story as you want it to be, with the outcome you want to see. It can be re-written.

There is a feeling of satisfaction from being able to scratch off a bucket list item but a greater one in knowing that you tackled one of your fears and faced it head-on, fought your way through it and won.

I realize that over 100,000 people climb this trail every year. For me this was a “biggy”. We all have fears we want to overcome. Fears that paralyze us, that stop us in our tracks. Do you have a fear you want to beat? How would you feel if you beat it? What would it take to finally take that first step forward?

Leave me your favorite emoji if you can relate to this story or let me know of a time where you overcame your fear…and won!